The Innapropriate Name Series
by Crunchbucket
Summary: Giving a summary that makes sense would be pointless. There IS no point to this. I like cheese. So should you.
1. Number one-Betrayal

Story one of the inappropriate name series- Betrayal  
  
Everyone (and I mean everyone) is at Cloud's Costa del Sol villa. Cloud is brushing his spikes.  
  
Sephiroth- Hi Cloud.  
Cloud- Oh, hi.  
Sephy- Can I borrow your brush PLEEEEEEZZZ????  
Cid (in a straight jacket) NAOOOOOOOHHH!!!!Don't let him! He'll kill us! He'll kill us all!  
Cloud- Don't be stupid, Cid! Here you go Sephiroth.  
Sephy- This is the first of many! I shall use these brushes to rule mankind! First Costa del Sol,  
then THE WORLD!!!!  
Jenova- Gasp! Sephiroth! How dare you take that poor boy's brush! Give it to me so I can brush my  
tentacles!  
Sephy-No! Do you hear me? No! (Flies out of the window)  
Cloud-My brush! (Breaks down in tears)  
Voice- Never fear fair maiden, I am here to save the day! (Palmer appears in a lycra body suit   
with matching cape)  
Palmer-Dah dah DAHHHH!!!!   
Cloud- Maiden?  
Cid- someone feed me soup, now! I can't eat in this damn jacket!  
  
(Everyone races after Sephy)  
Palmer- halt, bad guy!  
Tifa- Guy? Where! Can I have his number?  
Sephy- you'll never catch me! Just a little further to my secret lair!  
(Sephy slams the door as he enters a cave with "SEPHIROTH'S SECRET LAIR" above the door in neon   
lights.)  
Palmer- A-ha! This is too easy.  
(Kicks down the door)  
Sephy-curses, how did you find me? (Holds summon materia aloft) I shall summon Diamond weapon to   
help me!  
Palmer- Well, I summon the Ultimate Weapon to help me!  
Cid-More $%^in' soup now! Geez…  
Diamond Weapon- (fires beam)  
Ultimate weapon- (Dodges. Fires larger beam.)  
D.W.- (Dodges. Fires even bigger beam.)  
U.W.- (Dodges. Fires Bloody Big Beam.)  
D.W.- (Dodges. Fires Insanely Huge Beam,)  
U.W. (Gets hit in the arm.)  
Yuffie- (Splashed with Ultima Weapon's blood.) Eew! Scummy! Evil Monster blood! GROSS!  
Diamond Weapon- (Prepares Diamond Beam.)  
Voice- Like, not so fast!  
Palmer (Slows down) Okay.  
Biggs- (Points at a massive version of Yuffie mutated by the Ultima weapon's blood) Eeek! It's   
Mecca Yuffie! So much more of her to love!  
Yuffie- Like, ewww!!! Tiny mouse! I hate mice! Sickoid! (She throws up on Biggs and Wedge)  
Biggs and Wedge: - AIEEE!! I'm melting! Oh woe! I'm out of this messed up story!  
Yuffie- Awww, poor little mouse. Shame it had to die. Now for these two. (Steps on Diamond and   
Ultimate)  
Diamond and Ultimate- (squish)  
World- Huzzah!  
Sephy- Curses.  
Cid- More soup!  
  
~FIN~  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Number two-Engelbert Humperdink

Story two of the innapropriate name series- Engelbert Humperdink  
  
Aeris-Hi darling.  
Cloud-p--s off Aeris, I'm going out with Tifa.  
Aeris (to Tifa)-He likes me Tifa! He's going to dump you soon!  
Tifa- Wha-wha-WHAT!?  
  
1 year later...  
  
Aeris-Hi sweety.  
Cloud-p--s off Aeris, I'm still seeing Tifa.  
Aeris-Rats. (She is suddenly attacked by a troupe of rabid Chu-Chus.)  
  
In hospital...  
  
Aeris- (With wings and a halo) Tifa, it's so nice of you to come and see me here. My back hurts  
quite a bit right now. Doh the pain! Doh the pain!  
Tifa- Actually, Ijust wanted to borrow your new dress. Cloud's having a party tonight, and I want  
to borrow it.  
Aeris- (sprouting horns and a tail) Fine, you just go and have fun at his party then, you two gil  
ho!  
Tifa- Okay. (leaves.  
  
At the villa,  
  
Cloud- Party at my house tonight everyone, and you're all invited! Except for you Sephiroth, for  
you are an evil b-----d  
Sephiroth- Curses! (To himself) I know! I'll blow them all up with this atomic bomb! (Produces an  
atomic bomb from inside his cloak, sets it, sniggers and leaves.)  
  
Night falls ten seconds later.  
  
Cloud- Alrighty then, let's get started!  
Yuffie- (on the Playstation) Like, just like, one minute,like, or something.  
Tifa- Wow, that video game character is cute! Can I have his number?  
Cloud- Hurry up Yuffie! We're off to the Gold Saucer for jolly good fun with lashings of ginger  
beer.  
Yuffie- Just like, a few more like, days. Gawd!  
Cloud- (sighs) just catch up, okay?  
Yuffie- Like, totally. Whatever. GAWD!  
Cloud- Right.  
  
2 miles away...  
Sephy- I shall now blow them up. (presses detonator)  
Detonator- KABOOM!!!!  
Sephiroth- Yes, yes I did it! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!  
Cloud, followed by everyone-Hi Sephy.  
Sephiroth- Ack! You're alive!!!  
Cloud- You blew up my house, b---h! And Yuffie was still in there!  
Sephiroth- She was? Yes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!  
(a large, Yuffie shaped shadow appears.)  
Cloud- Oh my god...  
Tifa- You genetically mutated Yuffie with the radiation from the   
atomic bomb, turning her into Mecca Yuffie again!  
Vincent-...  
Cid- You b-----d! More soup please.  
Yuffie- (picks up sephiroth, and is about to rip his head off when-)  
Aeris- (flies up to Yuffie's head, winged again) Spare his life! Sephiroth has obviously learned  
his lesson! You won't be able to sleep at night, for his screams will forver torment you!  
Sephiroth-Oh p--s off halo head, what the hell do you know?  
Aeris-(sprouting horns and a tail) That's it, kill him!  
Yuffie-(rips off Sephiroth's head)  
World- Haroo!  
Cid- More soup, ya $%^&in' ^&**headed pieces a &^$^in %^&*!!!!!  
Red- Oh for god's sake! (Gives Cid a mug of soup with a straw)  
Everyone else- (Stand mouth agape because Red actually took part in the fic when he usually says  
less than Vincent because of lazy writers who can't be bothered to write lines for him even if he  
is the third best character behind Sephiroth and Yuffie who are so damn cool because of their   
lack of morals you're rambling again Crunchie slap  
  
Well, that's it!  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Number three-Hippopotamus

Story three of the innapropriate name series- A Hippopotamous (named by my friend Carmilla who   
doesn't know how to spell hippopotamous either. So what if it's spelled wrong, finding a   
dictionary would require an expendature of effort. Sue me.)  
  
Yuffie and Tifa are taking a nice relaxing walk when Cloud appears.  
  
Cloud-Hello, I'm Cloud Strife, and I'm a very sexy, famous and important person.  
Tifa-Oh Cloud! (Faints)  
Cloud-Is she okay?  
Yuffie-No, like, I think she's like, dead. Or something.  
Cloud-Okay. (Walks away)  
Yuffie- Thanks, like, so much. GAWD! Like, totally.  
Cloud- (Out of sight) Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!(Removes mask(Is Sephiroth))  
  
At a nearby phonebox...  
  
Phone-Hello, county morgue and crematorium, you kill em' we grill em'!  
Yuffie-Hi, like, I've got a friend like, with me. And she's like, dead. Will you like, pick her  
like, up before she like, stinks up the street? Like great. Bye! Totally.  
  
7 minutes later...  
  
Morgue guy-Yup, she's dead alright. Get a body bag, mother.  
Yuffie-Mother?(Yuffie said a sentence without like in it!!!!! Hurrah and Huzzah!)  
Mortician-Did I say mother? Er, I meant Sheridan P. Green IV. Put her in a body bag, Sheridan P.  
Green IV.  
"Sherida P. Green IV"-(Stuufs Tifa in a body bag)  
Tifa-Ouch! That hurt!  
Yuffie-Like, what was that?  
Morgue guy-Must have been an insect.Put her in the van, Sheridan P. Green IV.  
Tifa-(muffled) Ow! Let me go! I'll sue!  
Morgue guy-Okay, let's go. Bye Mo- I mean Sheridan P. Green IV. (He drives off, leaving Sheridan   
P. Green behind for some odd reason.)  
Yuffie-Well like, that was a like, interesting turn of events. (Carries on walking)  
  
At the morgue  
  
Morgue assistant who is not Sheridan P. Green IV-Er, boss, this one's still moving.  
Morgue guy-Oh, dead bodies sometimes do that. (Hits Tifa over the head with a spade)  
Tifa-$%^!  
Morgue assistant who is not Sheridan P. Green IV-My shift's over now boss. Can I go?  
Morgue guy-Sure, close the door behind you as you leave.  
Morgue assistant who is not Sheridan P. Green IV-(leaves)  
Morgue guy-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!! (Removes mask. Is in fact, Sephiroth(Duh!))  
(He holds up a syringe.) With this zombie formula I will rule mankind! Then the world's supply of  
donuts and Hello Kitty merchandise will be mine! (Opens a drawer at random and injects a dead   
body)  
Zombie-Brains!  
Tifa-Let me out! (Bangs on drawer)  
Sephiroth- AHA! Tifa! You will be the first of Cloud's friends to suffer! (Opens Tifa's body bag)  
Tifa-About ti- AAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
Sephiroth-What's the matter, never seen a zombie before?  
Tifa-No, but your fly's undone, and it's quite obvious that you're not wearing any underwear.   
PERVERT!(Runs screaming from the building)  
Sephiroth-Curses. Follow her!  
Zombie-(Staggers out the door)  
  
The next day...  
  
Cid-Brains...  
Red-Huh? He's gone off soup!  
News announcer-News just in-Heinz and Cup-a-soup have just gone out of business!  
Cid-Brains!  
Jenova-Sephiroth? SEPHIROTH! Where is that lazy son of mine? You there, the one in the straight   
jacket! Stop dribbling at me!  
Cid-Brains! (Launches at Jenova, cracking open her skull and feasting on the oh-so-tasty  
contents)  
Cid-Mmmm, tasty brain.  
Yuffie-Like, GROOOOOSSS-NEEESSSS!!!  
Cloud-Oh my God! Now Jenova's a zombie!  
Barret-Like da foo' looks any different.  
(Tifa bursts in suddenly, out of breath)  
Tifa-Oh my God! It's too late! They're already here!  
Sephiroth-(Suddenly appears behind Tifa) That's right! You can't run away forever! You're doomed!  
Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Everyone-AIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! (Runs away and barricade themselves in the bathroom)  
  
In the bathroom, one hour later...  
  
Tifa-Are they still out there?  
Cloud-I don't know. Let's throw someone expendable out to check. (They throw Biggs out)  
Biggs-AAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! (Munch, crunch)  
Cloud-Yup, still there.  
Barret-Word up, foo's! Look what I be findin' behind the bidet! (Holds up a chainsaw)  
Cloud-Okay guys, seeing as this all started at the morgue according to Tifa, we're gonna go check  
it out. Barret, you go up front with the chainsaw.  
Barret-(Leaps out the door, waving the chainsaw round in a vaguely threatening manner. The  
zombies back away.)  
Cloud-Okay, let's go. (They um, go)  
  
At the morgue...  
  
Barret-I found it!  
Cloud-What?  
Barret-The issue of Crack Ho magazine with Tifa on the cover!  
Cloud-Never mind the blatant South Park rip offs! Where's the zombie formula tifa mentioned?  
Tifa-Found it!  
Cloud-Great! Now get rid of it!   
(suddenly, Sephiroth appears, backed up by Jenova zombie, Cid zombie and the first zombie from  
the morgue)  
Sephiroth-Ha! Try to beat me now!!!  
Tifa-Barret! Use the chainsaw!  
Barret-$^%&! Damn thing's outta fuel!  
Sephiroth-(Laughs hysterically as the zombies close in...)  
Tifa-Wait! I know!  
Cloud-I gotta believe?  
Tifa-No! We have to kill the original zombie! That'll make the others return to normal!  
Vincent-*Cough* ripoff *cough*  
Barret-...Did he just talk?  
Vincent-...  
Cloud-But which is the original one? Is it Jenova, Cid, or the one that looks suspiciously like  
Wedge?  
Tifa-Take a wild guess.  
Cloud-Oh, okay. (Readies his buster sword and is about to slice Wedge's head off when Mecca Yuffie suddenly squishes him.  
Wedge-(Squelch)  
World-Hurrah!  
Tifa-Mecca Yuffie! What made you change this time?  
Mecca Yuffie-I'm like, allergic to chainsaws. GAWD!  
Sephiroth-Curses! (whatches the zombies return to normal)  
Jenova-Sephiroth! How dare you turn me into a zombie! You're grounded for ten months!  
Sephiroth-NOOOO!!! (Jumps up and down in a similar way to Dick Dastardly in Stop The Pidgeon)  
Cid-More soup! More soup you %&*(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
DA END!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Number four-A Smaaaallll aubergine!

Story four in the innapropriate name series-A Smaaaallll aubergine!  
  
In the villa...  
Tifa-Hi Yuffie. (Spots a bottle of pills) What are those for?  
Yuffie-Oh, it's like, my anti mutation pills, cos I've been changing into Mecca Yuffie soooo much  
lately that I'm like, totally sick of it. GAWD!  
Tifa-Oh, right. So, are you coming to Sephy's party tonight?  
Yuffie-I suppose. I thought he was still a bit sore about the whole, y'know, killing him thing or   
something. Like, totally.  
Tifa-Uh huh. Oh well, might as well go. See you there. Bye!  
Yuffie-Like, bye, or something, (Takes another pill.  
  
At the party...  
Sephy-Come in everyone (evil snigger) Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! Little do they know  
that the glasses I'm using for the punch aren't clean! Those fools will SUFFER!  
Aeris-Tifa?  
Tifa-Yes?  
Aeris-Will you polish my halo for me, I can't reach it.  
Tifa-Sorry, I've got to go fish Cait Sith out of the toilet again.  
Aeris-(Sprouts horns and a tail) Well then, you BITCH, If you don't want to be my friend, just   
say so!  
Tifa-Okay, PMS woman!  
Aeris-(Strikes Tifa dead with a breath of fire, then returns to her normal self)  
Aeris-Oops, silly me. (Giggles) (Flies out of the window)  
Sephiroth-You burned my carpet! Mother will kill me!  
Cid-Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! More soup please.  
Sephiroth-I'll kill you all!!! (Flies out of the window)  
Barret-Well, now Sephy's gone, what do we do?  
Cait Sith-(Voice muffled due to being head first down the toilet) Let's trash the place!  
Everyone-Yay!!!! (Rips apart Sephy's house)  
  
The next day at the villa...  
Sephiroth-You are all cabbages!  
Cloud-Why?  
Sephiroth-You trashed my house and locked mother in the airing cupboard!  
Cloud-Oh, that.  
Sephiroth-I hate you all!(Flies out of the window)  
  
Outside...  
Sephiroth-Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!! Little do they know taht I have spiked Yuffie's anti   
mutation pills with my own special mutation formula!(Exits, cackling)  
  
Inside...  
Cloud-Gods, I'm bored. (Turns on the TV)  
News announcer-News just in! Soup has been banned for being evil!  
Cid-GASP!!!! (Lapses into a coma)  
News announcer-Heinz, Bachelors and Cup-a-soup are already out of business!  
Cid-ARGH!!! (Jumps out the window)  
Tifa-Oh no, he'll be killed!  
Cloud-Don't be stupid, this is the ground floor.  
Tifa-Oh yeah.  
Cid-(Outside) The fascists must be stopped!  
Cloud-He's flipped.  
Yuffie-I think I need another pill. Or ten. (Empties bottle down her throat) Hwup! (Grows   
another pair of arms and turn green) Roagh!  
Tifa-Oh hi Yuffie!  
Yuffie-ROAGH! BLAGH!  
Tifa-Hmmm, you look different. Don't tell me, new shoes right?  
Yuffie-GRAGH!  
Tifa-Thought so! Smell ya later!  
Yuffie-BLAUGH! (Jumps out of the window and starts to kill random passers by)  
Tifa-Well isn't that lovely.  
Sephiroth-(Appears) Fools! Can you not see that your beloved friend Yuffie has been mutated by   
the very pills that were trying to prevent her from doing so?  
Everyone-(Doesn't care)  
Sephiroth-She will kill everyone in sight, meaning eventually the world will be min! Mwah ha ha   
ha ha ha!!!  
Everyone-(Doesn't care)  
Sephiroth-Hello? I'm wxplaining my evil plot here!  
Aeris-Well, if none of you are going to do anything about it, I'll go and find her! (Flies out  
the window)  
  
In the shopping centre...  
Yuffie is tearing stuff up.  
  
Yuffie-Like, ROAGH! I feel so powerful! Like, quake before me, puny humans! GAWD!  
Aeris-(Flies up to Aeris's head)  
Yuffie-ARGH! A pink wasp! (Swats at Aeris)  
Aeris-Yuffie, It's me!  
Yuffie-Oh.You.  
Aeris-You shouldn't use your powers for evil! They are a gift! You should use them to spread   
peace, joy and happiness throughout the world!  
Yuffie-Give me one good reason.  
Aeris-I'll give you my mastered Knights Of The Round materia...  
Yuffie-Peace and love and happiness! Tra la la la la!!! (Returns to normal and skips away)  
  
Back at the villa...  
Jenova-Where is that no-good son of mine?  
Sephiroth-(Flies through the window) Here I am, mother!  
Mecca Yuffie-Argh! Ugly wasp! (Swats Sephiroth back through the window)  
Cid-(Sobs) What the $%^$ am I gonna do? I'll die without my soup!  
Barret-Ahhh, quit ya moanin', foo.  
Sephiroth-(Flies back in minus a few teeth)  
Jenova-And what time do you call this, young man? You expect to just fly back in here and have me  
let you get away with it? What kind of mother would I be if I did that? You're grounded for two   
years!  
Sephiroth-Curses!  
DA END  
Cid-Wait! What about my soup!  
Barret-Here ya go, foo'!. (Hands him a mug)  
Cid-Mmmm... Blech! Engine oil! My throat's bleeding!  
Barret-Here ya go, foo'! (Hands him a bottle)  
Cid-Hot sauce! I'm burning up!  
Barret-Here ya go, foo'! (Hands him a bowl)  
Cid-Yuck! Goldfish water! Antidote, antidote!  
Barret-Here ya go, foo'! (Hands him a bottle)  
Cid-AAARRRGH, Vinegar!  
Barret-I could do this forever.  
REALLY DA END!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Number 5-The end is nigh! Sniff!

Story five of the inappropriate name series- The end is nigh! Sniff!  
  
Everyone is crowded round the TV watching South Park.  
Cartman-Kyle, I will kick you in the nuts!  
Everyone-Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!  
Sephiroth-What would mother say if she knew I was watching this?  
Cloud-Shaddap, I'm trying to watch this.  
Sephiroth-Up yours, Clod.  
Cloud-I'll tell your mother you said that.  
Sephiroth-Oh dear God no!!!!  
Kyle-Screw you, fat boy!!!  
Everyone-Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!  
Sephiroth-(Gets up) Gods, this is so immature!!  
Cloud-Smell ya later, Sephy!  
Sephiroth-Up yours, spike.  
Cloud-I'm going to phone your mother right now!  
Sephiroth-Ha! Bet you don't!  
  
(In the kitchen)  
Cloud-(On PHS) Hello? Mrs Jenova person? I just thought you'd want  
to know that your son was using foul language today. What was it? Up yours.  
No, wait! I didn't mean it like that! Don't hang up!!!  
Sephiroth-(Enters) What are you doing?  
Cloud-Er, nothing. Bye Mrs Jenova person. (Hangs up)  
Sephiroth-You phoned mother!  
Cloud-Maybe.  
Sephiroth-You asshole!  
Cloud-I'll tell her you said that!  
Sephiroth-(Fume)  
  
Outside the villa...  
Cloud-(To Tifa) Now that pointless introduction is over, we can get on with   
the story. Seeing as the others are going camping for the weekend, we'll have  
the villa to ourselves! I'll go tune up the buggy.  
Tifa-Okay!  
Cid-Hey Cloud, where's the buggy?  
Cloud-Just around the corner. Why?  
Cid-(Bouncing off in his straight jacket) I love engine oil now!  
Cloud-Right. (Realises this is insane) No, wait! Stop!  
Cid-(Halfway into the engine and smeared in engine oil) Too late.  
Cloud-Damn! He's ruined the engine! I'll have to fix it!  
Tifa-And I'll tighten Cid's straight jacket. I don't know how he got out of   
the cell this time!!  
  
Inside the villa...  
Barret-Okay, allya foo's packed?  
Everyone-Yup!  
Sephiroth-Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Two days without these morons and mother   
at home out of the way!!!! This will be heaven.  
Barret-Oh no you don't! You be comin' to, Suckaroth!  
Sephiroth-What? Why?  
Barret-You'll be in Cloud and Tifa's way. And besides, it's vital to the   
plot. Now get yo' ass over here!  
Sephiroth-Spoony.  
  
Meanwhile, Cloud and Tifa have fixed the buggy, and are looking for somewhere  
to dump Cid.  
Cid-Where are we going?  
Cloud-Somewhere you'll like.  
Cid-Oh good! Are we there yet? Are we there yet?  
They pull up outside an oil refinery  
Cloud-Have fun! (Pushes Cid out the door)  
Cid-I have died and gone to heaven. (Starts drinking all the oil)  
  
Back at the villa, everyone is waiting for the buggy's return  
Sephiroth-Two days with these morons! (Takes another prozak)  
(The buggy arrives. Everyone piles in)  
Cloud-Shall we go, my dear?  
Tifa-Oh Cloud!  
Aeris-(fume)  
  
At the campsite...  
Aeris-Wow! Here we are camping! It's just like the famous five, only there   
are, um, more of us. Red, you can be Timmy the dog!  
Red-(fume)  
Sephiroth-Shouldn't we set up camp before it gets dark and the wolves begin   
to hunt us down to consume our flesh?  
Everyone-Okay!  
Aeris-After that, we can go rock climbing!  
Sephiroth-Yes! This is perfect! When they climb the cliff, I'll be waiting   
at the top, where I will push a boulder over, squishing them! Mwah ha ha ha  
ha ha ah aha ha ha ha!!!!!!! (Flies to the top of the cliff to lie in wait)  
  
2 hours later...  
Aeris-Get climbing, everyone! (Everyone runs to the cliff)  
Sephiroth-Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! That's it! Keep   
climbing, you fools!  
Aeris-(Flies up next to Sephiroth) Oh, Sephy! I forgot to tell you! Your   
mother insisted on coming. She'll be here...now.  
Jenova-Sephiroth! You bad boy, planning to squash all your little friends!  
Wait till I get you home!!  
Sephiroth-^&*)! (Suddenly, everyone leaps up over the edge of the cliff and  
runs towards Sephiroth, trampling him)  
Sephiroth-Urg...  
  
Later that night, everyone is asleep apart from Aeris and Yuffie  
Yuffie-I'm bored!  
Aeris-I'm lovesick!  
Cloud-I'm Cloud!  
Aeris-Cloud! What are you doing here?  
Cloud-I came to see you, my love.  
Aeris, Oh, I love you!  
Cloud-I love you too! Let's stay like this for eternity!  
Yuffie-That can be arranged. (Turns into Mecca Yuffie and squishes them both)  
Shera-(Waking up) Yuffie! That was mean! Now I'll have to clean all this blood up! Hey wait,   
that's not Cloud, that's a complete stranger with a yellow hedgehog on his head.  
Yuffie-Oh yeah, so it is. GAWD!!!!!  
  
The next day, everyone is taking a nice, relaxing barge ride, for some reason.  
Red-This is boring.  
Cait Sith-Well, how about a nice country and western song to relieve the boredom? Ahem   
(tunelessly) OH, I'M SITTIN' ON MAH SPUUURRRRS, MOMMA!  
Sephiroth-Give me strength!  
Red-So what do we all want to do?  
Aeris-(Who is oddly alive) Lets look at pictures of Cloud!  
Vincent-Let's mourn Lucrecia!  
Cait Sith-Let's trash the place!  
Everyone-Yayyyy!!!!! (Starts to tear the barge apart)  
Sephiroth-That's it! (Writes "I think that this is the best way to end it" on a piece of paper  
and leaps athletically from the barge)  
Sephiroth-So long, suckers!  
Red-Okay, that was fun. Let's go home now.  
Everyone-Okay!  
  
At the villa  
Barret-We're home, foo's!  
Cloud-Oh Gods.  
Tifa-Let's go somewhere a little more private...  
(Suddenly, an oil tanker draws up outside and an angry bloke jumps out, dragging an overweight  
Cid with him)  
Angry Bloke-Is this yours?  
Cid-Burp.  
Angry Bloke-He just drank all our oil! We've lost millions!  
Cid-Very tasty.  
Angry Bloke-(Leaves)  
Tifa-How did he get hooked on oil anyway?  
Cloud-Barret fed it to him. (Idea forms) Cid, would you like some cyanide?  
DA END  
  
Hoo, there it is! The entire inappropriate name series! Feedback appreciated, so send it to   
Dacruncha@hotmail.com. However, this series is just a bit of fun. My real comedic fanfic, The   
Revenge Project, will be completely up soon. See y'all later!  
  
  
  
  



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